Tonight I feel like I'm back in school again.
I began getting My Chesters' stories out of me because of Connor's surgery. This was such a sudden, and super serious, change in our trajectory, that I couldn't work through it in all my normal coping ways. But my head swirling began years ago with my 1st born, Cadence.
I have been obsessed with that boy since before he was born. And part of the obsession has been that he has always had something that my brain could not figure out, or had to figure out. Having earned my biology degree from one of my favorite places on earth - Virginia Tech - my brain is wired to try to fix/figure out all things biology related. So when it became evident relatively early in Cadence's life that his brain was also wired differently- I began the search to try to figure him out. It has been a very long, journey that has had it's own heartache, but it's also had so much love and has taught me so much.
So our latest event was a marathon day of appointment, beginning with another trip to genetics. We went to genetics at the end of August (and originally maybe 3 years ago?). Unfortunately, the doctor we saw then I could tell pretty early on was not really listening to me and didn't trust my mama instincts. I have grown to recognize those. I still thought we'd get testing (because we did the first time), but had to be referred to another doctor/professor who we finally saw yesterday and just brought Connor for good measure.
Yesterday we also had an appointment that was rescheduled from last week at Kluge with a developmental pediatrician. It was a follow up with a doc we saw last year - one that I really didn't want to see again. But I was able to get an appointment with one we had seen a few years ago, who really got Cadence as soon as she saw him then, and totally picked right up yesterday. I love it when a doc can recognize something in Cadence that I had not yet noticed. That's such a good measure of how much they get him! We have been so lucky to have a few of those.
So after the latest doctors appointments, there is testing underway for a genetic syndrome that I think may finally be the answer to the questions that I've always had. It's a weird feeling that I can't quite process right now. Well, actually I can in the way that I've been doing all this time - I'm back in school, researching. It is a familiar feeling that I really love. And keeps my mind occupied with no room for the feelings that I don't love so much.
And I only have 7-10 weeks to wait to find out whether or not we can prove my hypothesis.